~Tuna Egg~

When the time i opened my eyes, i had decided, let yesterday, stay in there~

I wan my day becomes good day, no more bad days is a little promise i made for myself~

Everything is going to be alright~ isnt it?

Well, yday, had a stupid quarrel wif the king of my house~ Juz becoz of small little tiny thing~ Time was juz not right, i couldnt endure like wat i always did~ It was reached my limit~ Just the same like volcano poured out molten rock~ Had u seen b4? i bet u did~ No matter gals or guys always did tat~ Bcoz human juz equals with emotional animal~

I had gone thru plenty of bad days tat i wish i never been~ Coz is hurt, really hurt.....

Im not tat tough tat u think, Im only human~ AND, im a gal~ Plz dun forget this fact~

Well, well, well....

it's gonna b okay~

I cooked myself yummy tuna egg with bread, it did brighten up my day~

No more bad days, k?

For this moment, i dun believe in fate~ I believe, i can change, with my own hands~

I do hav a brain!!!!

~I feel myself~

Sometimes there is juz a chance, or juz a mission, when u do it, u feel it~

Feel what? Me, myself~

Recently, i was taking part in publicity team of Chap Goh Mei Celebration which organized by Chinese Culture Society~ My fren Turtly, put a lot of efforts in tat~

Yday, It's quite a sudden, i gonna take part in almost every performances~ Singing, cross talk (xiang sheng) n oso the fashion show~

How long tat i never go on stage? it's quite a pretty long time~ but i miss, miss the stage, so so much~

I did all my very best, n i had fun, it's quite enjoyable with a big throng of frenz~

I realized something tat i never discover in almost 20 years~ Haha~ i never know, tat i can do quite well in fashion roadshow~ Hahaha....thx to give me the chance~

Well~ well~ well~ i lost my voice today~ At nite, i going to perform already...so i doubting, am i able to do the best? i wondering~

~Sorry, means nothing~

Busy Busy BUsy!!!!!!!

yeah...im busy!!!! it might be true, but deep inside my heart telling me, that's juz an excuse!!!

watever~ i dun wanna care tat much~ y must i thinking everything in details? y must i care bout everything? y i put weight on mine shoulder by my hands? y i take everything as my own responsibility?

I feel stupid, i feel cheated!!!!

It juz a small matter until i cant tell, coz u most probably think tat's nothing! juz a small tiny prob! but it meant to me~ really~

I juz wanna b polite, i thought i jz did the right things as a fren, but i think it was too much~

okay, i deserved it~

watever it may be.....for me, for now, sorry, means nothing to me~

~Lie, in Valentines~

Happy Valentines....& Happy Chinese New year...

yeah yeah, today is Valentines, but just a very normal day for me~ It's gonna be the same, for 20 years.....haha~

well, this cny, not really good~ is lik sick festival during tis cny, included me myself~ but recovering...^^v....take gd care everyone~~

Sometimes, thing wil jz get complicated~ I feel so guilty, when telling lies, even though it is harmless n i juz wanna to be polite~ J said is not my fault, but wat i feel is like, it is my fault~ *contradicted*

I juz dislike ask myself to do something tat i hate~

watever it maybe, i apologize.......

today, again, i feel bad, when i feel ur selfishness~ i trying to give many reasons for wat u did, i believe tat u wont be lik tat...but no matter how hard i try, wat happened, is happened~ It is hurt, really hurt~

yeah, i should treat myself better....

anyway.....

hav a nice day everyone~

~What's wrong...~

oppz...wat's wrong?

there is one movie review waiting for me to complete, besides, there are still a lot of workloads lying on my table~ I know myself well, i do not have much time to complete all these before cny holiday~ But i juz dun feel like wan to do it...dun even wan to touch~

tat's bad...real bad....but it was like, out of my control~

Dunno y, these few nitez, different friendz kept asking me go out yum cha~ continuos for 2 nitez~ I thought, im the only one who hate stay at home all alone...seemed not~

well~ I gotta do stg...i have to, it is a must~

U know, i know~

okay...before i going out...at least do stg? plz...Jungle~

~This, absolutely...~

Half way reading my history textbook, came here...juz wanna do some fingers exercise~

yeah...history~ Something which full of mysteries~ well, i taking east Asian civilization this semester~ It is interesting, just the stupid thicky textbook which full of small words make me kinda....annoying~ But no regret~ even though so-so result is expected end of this semester~

CNY is coming very soon~ mayb becoz of tat, i feel tat i stil in holiday~

tat's bad, really bad~ i juz keep enjoying my life, which full of stress~ yeah...stressful~ coz while i was enjoying, my mind was thinking what else i havent do but i should do~ not a good feeling at all~ trust me~

well~ well~ well~ at least, my life is not tat sucks~ coz i know, how to make things simply~ but still learning anyway~

today after gym at California Fitness, i walked alone in the mall~ being alone, not really a bad thing for me~ I walked, stopped when saw stg i like, then kept walking~ i was using mine imagination and hoping, could i meet up with 'him'? *smiling*

who knows rite? mayb he was standing behind me in the queue but i din notice~ or mayb he walked by with opposite direction and my eyes was looking another site~ fate, u know~

okokok~ i should stop here~

lolz...

hungry ady lo~

this blog, absolutely, juz for fun~

~Head or Tail~

Im not going to be pessimistic anymore~ really...

But tat's stg out of my control~ Like u throwing a coin n bet with ur frenz whether it is head or tail~ I always lost when came to this game~ I dunno y, n i juz let it be，knocked under the fate~

Yeah, dun think i always fight back lik i always did~ Im not tat strong anyway~

stg is wrong tat i can feeling right now~ i getting sick...really sick~ not only physically sick, but mentally sick~

no one to speak at this moment, n i feel sick~ no one to take care of me, i feel sick~ no one will be there n say stg comfort me, i feel sick~ i keep drinking lotz of water, coz i feel sick~ i feeling cold and hot remaining on the same seat, i feel sick~ every step will cause me pain, i feeling sick~

c, i really sick~

okay~ i should take it easy~ isnt it?

by the way, last sat n sun, i went to p24 dance marathon n i was a volunteer there as a dancer relations~ yeah, it was an activity which u can juz dance for 24 hours~ sound crazy huh? absolutely~

being a dancer relations was not an easy job at all, i gotta kept motivating the participants to dance, since then, i need to dance first~ arh...

but i was enjoy and had lot of fun~ all the performance was so nice~ One thing tat i can say, UrbanGroove rocks~ all of them can really dance so well~ Fellest (i used to call him salad, sorry~) , Zack, Alex, Jerry...etc.... they r friendly, n we talked for a little while~ Din know Alex same age with me, kinda shocked me~ with this age, he ady can dance tat well, his future, must b so bright~ hopefully, we still can talk another time~ "hopefully" la~ Juz quite a long time din met a person who i tot we were met b4~ nice to meet them~

p24, ended up quite successfully~ when hugging everyone, i felt so touching~ It was like a challenge which is not everyone able to do so~ Im glad, my friends n i did~ we r survivor~ haha~

okay~ i should stop here~

it is time, to plan, my new life~

~There was a tear, on my finger~

It was totally a new life, in my history~

But it was not totally strange, it was a bit familiar~ the streets i used to walk on, the roads i used to cross, the building i used to dream to own~ the only difference, is the person, who is typing tis blog~

yeah, i referring myself~ A stupid monkey lost in the jungle~

Im sitting in a totally new place~ going to sleep soon i guess~

my brain, stil thinking other things~

in this 21st century, everyone has a mobile in the pocket~ this is nothing fresh to talk about~ I juz thinking while the phone is ringing n tat is at least one msg going to transfer through one place to the other place, from one person to the other person~... no matter wat kind of messages tat u can think, it most probably repeating in every hour around the world~

via mobile, u can listen the voice u always miss~ n from the voice, i can imagine the person facial expression n his/her emotions~ everyone has the ability to imagine~ me of coz~

today, i had listened a voice, which i love so much~ i can c the tears on her cheek although i cant c her~ i wan to be with her~ desperately~ i hope i can juz fly across cities just to be with her~ but i cant, n so...helpless, miserable~

thx tat im so lucky~ i have friends always around me n be there when i need them~

thx a lot~

i know, tat's life.... since i cant avoid it, so i face it~

if i think i can , i can~

~It is coming to the end...~

2007 and 2008, it just a number different, but there have 365 different days~

can i know what is the speed of every day? just too soon for me, few more hours to go, another new year, is coming to town~

yeah, everything related to 2007, were ended and going to the end...

i'd changed a new hairstyle two days ago~ i don't really like it, but at least, it was a good try~ it's easy to step in the saloon n chose a nice seat, but it was so hard to make a decision wat style u going to change~ so i said, it was a good try~ bcoz, i made it~ i'd gone thru it~ i took it, as my last challenge of the year 2007~

tat's my way to welcome a new year~

2007, not really a bad year for me~ there are still a lot of unforgettable memories~ i met many new friends~ i did awesome works~ i went to the first prom nite in my life~ ...... there were something tat i cant describe by using words~ but i wil, remember it, forever~

2008, i wish what i wish will become true~

let bygones, be bygones~ im stil growing up~ there is another year, waiting for me~ no matter good day or bad day, enjoy or torture~ i wil just face it, with a real me~

i hope, i can do my very best~

yeah, im ready, to say bye to 2007, say hi to 2008!

~Truth...~

everyone is trying hard to find the truth, but what is the truth that we want to know?

there are question marks in everywhere, and i believe the truth, hiding underneath the surface~ We can get to know it, if we finding it~

No matter what is the truth~ it has a power, to influence our emotions~

There is a truth, which we hardly understand~

I tried hard before, but i gave up~

Because, what i left when i discovered the truth, just disappointment~

Plz do not look down at anyone around you~ You can help them improve, but not with the stupid ego words~

I, can survive~

~Raining Season~

great day always passing so fast~ Like today, the moment i woke up on my bed, i know, today going to be a good day for me~

no doubt, is raining outside~ N i like it~ I like raining~

i have a good mood, thx for the weather~

but i dun even realized, now is already noon n is ending~ i stil havent take my lunch~ haha~

after yday, i told myself, i gonna change~

So, here I am~ a new me~ thx for everything~

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell....Xmas, is coming, too~

a very special season of mine~

~没有，为什么~

i finding a reason~ i am searching for an answer~ my heart is still pounding, but anyone can tel me, when will it just stop without a sign?

i hate this feeling, with uncertainty~ i feel tat im useless, with a helpless soul~

when the day we found its existence, would it be too late for us to do something?

as long as i still can breathe, with wide open eyes, but who can tell me, my heart will stop pounding the next second i breathe~

It's enough!!! i hate the panic when i feel im still alive~

Don't be so cruel to our human beings~ At least show us some signs~ at least give us more time to get prepare~ at least lead us where we go after life~ at least, let us know~

im sick of it~ i thought i am recovering~ But when i have the hopes, *BOM* ~ again, i lost~ lost everything~

i wanna go bac home~

i wanna have some rest in my life~

i....cant bear it up~

~Now on...~

i do believe in fate and faith~

been so many days, my life, wasnt my days at all~

Sometimes i juz wondering, y do i so mind about wat other ppl said?

that's none of their business but mine~ im the one who should handle all these~ so, from now on, i wan to become a brand new me~

i do believe in myself~ but today, juz today, i was in the mood who wanna ignore the outside world~ i hate everything i saw n everything i heard~ watever, juz watever~

is really damn tiring if every single things i need to think again n again~ no point, isnt it?

okay~ take everything easy, make life easier~

juz follow my gut feelings~ everything wil going fine~

i decided~ so pray hard for me~

all the best everyone~

To my Angeline, believe in me, everything going to be alright~ stay happy and believe in faith~

~C, im not always pessimistic~

oh yeah~ woohoo~ feeling good when sweating.... juz after playing badminton with my best buddy~

well, i really should do sport more frequently~ last time, there were always lot of excuses, asthma la, this la, that la...now i dun care ady, i can do watever i wan.....include the sports i like~

i miss the time while jogging with my mum n dad......i miss the time we played badminton at least once a week with my cousin.........i miss those days running on the field during every PJ periods.......basketball, netball, squash.......wow~ n i wont forget hiking as well~

yeah, i really wish tat i can juz b a young ppl and full of energetic......i love sports, but y i juz keep giving myself a lot of excuses? i should do something and try my very best......

okay, deal~ i decided, i wil take part in sports carnival next year......

a lot of new things waiting me discover them. i wan to change, i wan to try something new......

and a brand new me, will be exist......^^v

~I Doubt....~

i was in the room, with a throng of new faces. I did not know, since when, i started to fear of this kind of environment~

i smiled, i said something~ but i still, not comfortable with this place. coz, i din feel tat i belongs to one of them~

i was lik waiting for something i dun even know wat is tat......my name? hope? or wat?

tat's not important for me, juz i started to doubt, bout my capability~

it's tat something tat i did had not been satisfied by others? or wat i should do but i din?

it's okay~ i told myself.....not a big deal~ juz a failure tat i'd long time never met~

so i tel myself, there r still waiting for me at somewhere.....

~Numb3rs~

again~ something tat i cant find a way out~

well, the moment i get to know the numbers, i kept silence~ coz i think there's the way, to cover, the disappointment of mine~

juz wonder y, n i was doubting~ my problem? perhaps~

But one thing for sure, i done all the best of mine, tat wat i can do ~

anyway, jz trying not to think the same thing~ same way~

i should learn how to c thing differently~

again, dun show me the same face~ dun think wat u thinking about me ~ the more you wan to show ur generous, the more i feel ur happiness~ n the more, i feel u being sarcastic~

juz the numbers, wat do i thinking tat much?

it's not worth it~ to waste my time n strengths to think all these~
so i should stop, stop doubting myself~

im learning, not to care~

~Say hi to November~

do u feel tat? time, is speeding~

not fair isnt it? we r not allow speeding on the highway, but y time is allowed?

watever~

It's a new month~ Everytime when i feel my bday is coming soon, i know, year of 2007, is ending~

watever it is, today, when i opened my eyes n realized today is the first day of a new month, i decided, i wan to change, change to better life~

It's a good thought, i think~

Enjoy dude~

~It's time...~

yeah, here again~

well, everyone has their own future, n wat about mine? i think, it's time to think....think deeply about my future~

i dun even realize that, it is time~

yday, the person in charge of University South Australia paid a visit to my college and so there was a chance given for those student who would lik to study there to ask her plenty of questions. so i was there~

my mind start to imagine....all the stuff about the decision will be made.....

watever the decision will be...i wan to change my life....i wan to have some different....i dun wan to disappoint anyone who love me....i dun wan to miss the chance......

i hate to compare, i hate to make a decision which i will never regret....

but it's hard....so hard........

~Differences~

when a person in a bad mood or not enough sleep, normally they will act extremely different~ tat's wat i found, in me~

watever, there are many differences in our lives.....different ppl, different brain, different thought, different reaction......bla....bla.....bla......we cant expect anything of these....it's hard to predict......

recently, i dunno y do i so mind...when someone keep reminding bout how different am i with other girls....well, i wonder.....i dun think tat there are two different people who totally the same.....everyone has their unique, isnt it? so it's tat my fault?

i dun care how different am i~ but someone made me wonder~ do they have a brain as well?

i do hav a brain, n a heart~ i might look like a tough gal, but yet, im stil a gal~ dun think tat i dun mind~

mayb it's different, but i stil da same~

~y is tat so hard?~

why is tat so hard for me to take everything easy?

it's a long night for me...really long night~ n i wonder why~

is tat really hard for someone living their days all alone? i hate to find no one to talk to sometimes~ no one will be so kind wasting their precious lifetime juz listen to my making sense theories... they are not anyone of me, n it really made me ympathize myself~ am i really tat pity gal?

i get used to it, din i? n so y is tat so hard for me?

it's okay, isnt it?

i strong enough and so do not need to share every little thing to anyone~ i can juz keep it to myself~

dun looking at me as u think~ im not naked, n i hav a brain~