~To be changed~

Oh yeah~ My body is moving with the beats, yeah, I got it~

Well, you know what makes me feel good?

I think, I'd found myself in the afternoon....Yeah, Im back~

The real me, is back~

I still can dance like who I used to be, I stil can sing till my heart out~

I still can do anything that I wan to~

That's all I want~

Yeah...just in a sudden, I realized....

This morning, I received an email and I know that my resume had been approved and now I have to wait for the teleinterview. Dunno y, I just strongly want the job~ Even though just as an intern and I wont be paid much. But I clearly know what I want.

I just want to move on, to know more people, to widen my social circle, to give myself a chance to learn, to explore, to experience.

That's the real me...not the one who only stand on the same place and never move.

What for to be pessimistic? What for to be sad for all what already happened?

Just the changes, inevitably one~

It's okay~ I should treat myself nicer.

I decided to move on, so I move on.

Do anything I like, with less consideration~


wish me luck friends~

Or may be, u can give me a chance too?


^^v


God bless~

~Move On~

Finally I'd done my assignment and I remember there is one sentence that I was trying hard to use creative way to write it.

"Once you open you eyes in the morning,
Look forward &
Smile away the pain & sorrow of yesterday."
- by OrangeJungle, 2008

Yeah, I used tat to remind me...move on~ move on~

Nothing is tat bad, when I willing to raise my head, and c wat is in front of me.

today, I went to MidValley, to meet up my friends who I know them in foundation.

The purpose of this gathering, is kind of like farewell, for my dearest fren, Hwan Jean~ She is going to australia in this coming July. Day looks wonderful talking with them...of coz, posing in front of the cameras is the funniest thing for today~ hahahaa........

yeah~ The gals, and the only guy for today, Jian. We all have fun, really~

Went to a kinda high-class restaurant with nice food....

everything juz great~

Yea...c, I can still move on, isnt it? Not tat bad...really....

^^v

~It's not too late~

Sometimes I juz lost, lost into la~la~ land...lost to no where~

there were many days many nights I'd lost myself~

I was trying so hard to find the way out~ I dun even know wat's wrong with me...I juz lost the ability to express myself. The feeling was hurting me, so much~

Finally, burst out and i thought it's gonna be okay after I cried...but it doesnt~

It's okay, at least, I better now~

Sometimes, when u realized life is not the bad~ There are people around me, care and love me~ Im not all alone...it's not too late, to realize tat~...

It's not too late~...

~Wednesday's Morning~

From yesterday, I put IL-Divo, Celine Dion and Westlife songs all into my playlists~

In this early in the morning, listening to the same playlist's songs, I feeling differently~

No worries, I feel much more better~

I dreamed yday, went into La~La~ Land n juz dreaming~ Not really remember wat my dreams all about, but at least not the bad one~

So, this morning seemed great~ I'd learned stg from my dreamz~

reminded me about 'LettingGo'~

Yupe, yupe~~~~

I think, I can focus and concentrate today~ Hopefully~

Have a nice day everyone~

~I'm not transparent~

Juz bac from the Lang Tengah~ but somehow, im not here to talk bout it~

I trying to balance up myself, but why things happened n made me feel the same way, repeat again and again~

I had a lot of fun, meanwhile, I felt something and I dunno wat the hell kept making my heart so pain~ I hope I would like to ignore all these....but I cant~

I cant even tell wat's wrong~

I hate tat I feel it tat way, hate it, so much~

I know, no one is intent here to hurt me~ Nonverbally, indirectly...n I even believe no one realize it~ but still, hurting me~

I lost the sense of belongingness and I feeling of my priceless existence cause trouble~

but somehow, I still here, physically, completely~

Do not keep me as innocence, I feel so noob~

Things juz come to me and no one there to tell me or at least give me a clue so I can get ready and face it~

That's me, n tat's nothing wrong to be myself....

sometimes the words, will lower a person self esteem~



I should stop, and keep myself busy~

~Here I Am~

Freedom juz not enough for me all the time~

I wan more, more, and more~

Even though my holiday was gone n my new semester juz started, but i dun care anymore~

As wat my friend John had said in the class, escape from the reality~

Even juz for a short while, but tat's wat I need, or mayb, wat we need~

Lang Tengah~ Here I come~

~In the five years future that we'd meant~

There is a promise I almost forgotten~ Thx God I've a good habit to keep myself a diary~

It's hard to describe the feeling of touch in the bottom of my heart~ The promise, means a lot for me~

I proudly announce to everyone~ I have a good friend, the best one that I can say~ We'd been through many days that I lost my count~ We used to share our feelings every night~ There is someone who gone through my old days with me~ N im glad I've someone listen to me n guided me when I was an innocent adolescence~

He get to know how was my feeling when we lined up during assembly by looked at my face~ He never hesitate to tell me the truth even though sometimes the truth hurt me~ He told me the right and wrong~ .........

I believe everyone of us used to imagine how r we going to look like in the future~ It's too fast to know when I realized we r already in the five years future that we'd meant~

I found that we had changed with the time flow non-stoply, but mostly of us remain the same~ We no longer chat everything and wat had happened in our daily lives~ With the hard days that I'd gone through, the face of me became hardly predict. Besides, we only meet each other once in a very blue moon and we began our own different lives~ That's life~ Inevitably which is understandable~

Even so, when the time we talked face to face, no matter how I'd changed, I felt the same old me was came bac~ That's real me without a mask, talking bout everything in our lives~

The nite, seemed too short for me~ So much thing tat i wanted to share i wanted to tell~ No secret, no sadness~ Openly, freely~

We both glad, to have each other, as a friend, in our lives~

I want to precious~ I will never meet another one like him~ I believe~

Thx~ Thx everything~

Wishing him always live happily with his beloved one~ He will always be~

A best friend, of mine~

~Easily~

I still relaxing at last moment~ I hate why am i so easily get affected~ So, cause me changed~

I having my holiday now, but as usual, HELP Uni Col always has the shortest holiday~ two weeks holiday but I only have few days relaxing myself at my home sweet home~ It's okay, I wanna spend it fully and juz rest~ I know, another hectic new semester is coming very soon, very soon~ It juz coming but somehow is already bothering me~ >,< I need help!!!

Is again the uncertainty matter, which i hate it but gonna face it all the time~

It is especially come to adapt the changes, again n again~

There r so much thing waiting for me~ Finish reading 'The Kite Runner', arrange my timetable for tis coming new semester, set my goal n plan a bit on my future, tis n tat...I'd planned to do all these but so much distraction n most importantly, I had been influenced and get demotivated~

I think, My brain having its holiday too~ Somehow I forcing it to function for me~ But it never works tis way~

I juz need more time to digest everything and figure things out~

Wil be alrite~

I juz wan to watch a movie, Or singing~

okay~ Juz relax~

I keep telling me this, but there is stg called 'regret' go through my mind and I asking myself how can I still in holiday n going to Lang Tengah next week which the stupid hectic short semester is already started?

But no point to regret tis, I shouldnt~ There is the place I wanted to go so much~ I shouldnt think tat much n complicated myself~ OKay, is time, to learn, how to let go~

Juz, easily enough~

~Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu~

Turning round and round and round~ There is the corner, I'd found~

I appreciate that, is not too late to realize~

Last weekends, I spent my day in 2 days 1 night camp~ INCOVAR Graduate Camp~ Organized by a team of experience and spiritual guys and gals~

It's been a long time, I guess since I came to this big city, I never join any religious activity other than went for churches few times brought by my frenz~

Finally, I had a chance, took part in a Buddhist camp~

Actually, it was a camp about future career~ I learned a lot more about corporate world out there~ Which is scary and full of realities~

Anyway, I too, learn about Interview Skills, Resume writing, managing career and career goals grooming and etc~ Im a student who juz stepping into Year 2, u think is tat too soon to learn all this? I definitely can say, NO~

This camp, 20++ participants in total~ Most of them are working people, and some of us still studying~ I think Fish & I were the youngest among all of them~ They had most experience speakers, awesome committee team members and also friendly participants who willing to share and care~

Asking me what had I learned, I found there r too much and I cant juz write it down all here~

It was diff from the buddhist activities tat I had been taking part before, maybe it was the first time I involved myself in English version camp~ I din know Buddhism is tat advance already~ They even have Hymns Singing, it sound a bit like those church songs~ but yet, is so nice to hear and sing altogether~

I know more about myself via Harrison Assessment, but it still shocked to know that i have most trait and suitable become a creative writer, poets or lyrists~ haha~

Meditation too, gave me peace and serenity~

Besides, I dun even know tat my email address cause trouble~ Maybe not yet, but soon will be~
orangejungle88@hotmail.com, means a lot to someone going to hire me in the future~ What impression u hav when u looking at this email? I juz curious...using it for around 10 years time, the first time i realize, while the time i growing up or growing old, nothing is permanent and need to change~

There is the lesson benefit me for my whole life, i believe~ Adapt to change and realize nothing is permanent in this universe~ and finally i found the reason why, Im such a indecisive person~ Becoz, I never learn how to let go~ Letting go, not becoz it sound chic or wat~ It is becoz the limitation a human being having and going through~ Nothing can be perfect and I hardly I can maintain everything good and best~ It juz all bout the matter of, Letting Go~


I do appreciate the new frens i get to know, even though we not really know each other in juz two days time~ Is always good to knw more people coz i always believe everyone of us has a particular and unique story hiding behind~ I love stories~

My heart, had been touched for several times and there r so much lessons I had learnt~

I appreciate everything tat i have~