~Harder than Easy~

This song, keep repeating~
A song, by Jack Savoretti.

Yeah, the mode of Acoustic.
So I closed my eyes, and listening to the rhythms.

and I was in the world of peace.

It's not that hurt as I used to, when the shadow of you appeared in my dreams.
Again.

I always forced myself to wake up from the dreams, you're not worth to be in my dreams.

Truth, is always something hurtful.
and especially that's not the things you'd expected.

Or I should say, having an expectation, is the mistake that I had made.

I'm actually hate you, when I discovered that you're hanging me with the strings and I was the puppet. I dont event have the right to control, to control my own actions. You were there leading me all the way and left me all alone in the deadend and never say goodbye.

and so after weeks or months, I came to realise that I was the only puppet.

It's easy to breath, It's easy to speak, It's easy to see.
but there're things, harder than easy.


Even I'm listening a song that singing of my feelings,
that's a strong feeling that I would like to demolish.

But this time, I stopped myself for asking whoever the Why questions.

Why that I'd been chosen? Why I met a worst ever person in the world?
Why am I still thinking of the devil? Why I'm still writing about you?




So I stopped, and trying hard to persuade my mind, to stop.




I just want you to sing me a love song, for the one last chance.





Is that harder than easy, too?

~Signal Off~

It's the first day of Chinese New Year of Tiger and yeah, the very first time I celebrate cny in London.

Far away from home seems like something depressive, but that's okay.
Received a call from family early in the morning yesterday and friend's dad was here to celebrate cny with his dearly son.

How lovely is that! and we get to tumpang the happiness by sharing the yummilicious cny biscuits all the way from Malaysia!

and yes, the ang pao! I thought I will never get the ang pao for this year! But surprisingly, wow! wow! ... Thanks Chris and Uncle! :)

We did have a reunion dinner yesterday, with my lovely girls and whole gang of Malaysian friends. A very DIY cny coz many things we need to do it by ourselves if we wanted to eat. and yeah, all the nice food and steamboat! Just we never get to finish all of them!

Drank few Mojito and few shots of Jagermeister!
Not that bad, just everyone was getting a little bit crazy with the drunkenness!
Luckily I'm not included.

People sometimes are crazy but with the alcohol effects, we get to see another faces of someone.

We had fun!

Other than the truth that I just realised.

Is all the guy the same?
I hope someone tell me it's not!
I need someone to tell me it is not!
if not, how could I still believe in any guy?

I'm not quite sure but I stopped to listen and I stopped imagining he told everybody.

and how could I still thinking of someone who're not deserved to?


So it's okay!
Again, that's always a factor to cause me to remain silence.
and I will never talk again.


Never ...


another 3 years?

I am the one who caused this cycle, and it never stops happen, no matter how hard I tried to change.




I'm moving on my life again with the signal off.
and remain, all alone in the journey.




it's hardly to make me believe, once again....