~Find my way~

Colbie Calliat's songs are playing again n again~

I need this sort of music, so i can hav a peace...

Realized, i'd been 4 days din go to college even though i was not having any holiday~ I should, take this chance to go bac home, yeah.....I SHOULD~

but these days, seemed long, but short~ all juz gone in a wink second~

I was thinking, i kept myself busy on and off, wat's the point?

Sometimes i juz cant find my way out~ I hate the feeling that i am doing something empty, which is nothing~

It doesnt really a matter, tat's life, u gone thru 10 days and there is only one day u found out it is meaningful~ One day, is better than none~ i trying to think positively~

Yday, while i was reading Lokido's blog, every word and picture about his life in UK, made me wondered~ tat's the life i desire to have, tat's the way i can find my way out, tat's it!!!! Both of us are typical sagittarian, there r many similarities between us, the way our brain function and the perspective of our lives.

It's time, to do more research on it~ Australia? or UK?

Im waiting, the answer, the true answer from the bottom of my heart~

~Great great nite~

Is already 5 o'clock early in the morning, n guess where had i been?

Yeah...Clubbing~ the very first experience in KL city~ which is great, real great~

It was without any early plan like what we should do. It was already 10pm tat time when i nudge my friend and simply said 'let's go yum cha!' Then he told me, he was preparing to party~

I din know, not even expected, i just joined them, such easy and simple without any much consideration~ Tat's not impulsion, i know it very clear~ Im rational~ I know wat im doing~

Is a fren, best fren of mine which i know him for many years, i do trust him~ Tat's y, i know everything is going to be alright~ in addition, it was a tough nite b4 i stepped out nicely from the house. yeah, i even desperate juz to walk out from the house to take a nice breath~ Thx my fren had given me a very good opportunity to join the great nite.

yeah, i had a lot of fun, a looooooooooooooooot of fun~

After P24 dance marathon which I danced till very crazy, it's about 2 months later, i had my second craziest moment~ It was great, really great~

Four guys and six gals, one couple from them, all of them is so nice and friendly. I do love them so so much~ even though, who knows we not going to remember each other when u awake the next day~ haha~ who knows rite? But i did sincere and cherish the moment with them.

dance, i juz dance, watever i wan, followed the music, juz dance with the every single beat. I love dancing, if u know me, u know tat too~ i dun even care wat other ppl think bout me, is really hard to get the chance i presented myself without a mask. So i enjoyed it~

For me, is not a bad thing~ I had only drank 2 or 3 cup of beers, tat's all~ i spent most of time, dance, dance, n dance. N one thing i should mention, we went into the ice bar which is under negative temperature. Is cold, even though i was wearing a thick jacket. but is nice, real nice~

after tat, we went for yum cha n now, here i am~

is not tat bad. dun judge those gals n guys who go clubbing is bad boy bad gal~ is juz having fun and enjoy life, but we know wat we r doing, n at least for me, i take the responsibilities on every single thing i did~ I going to step in my 20s few more months later, if u r an adult, show that u r~
tat's anothing thing which i witnessed myself n i was so touching~

I can c this clique with gals and guys, they do have a strong bond among them and they do care each other~ they din show it intentionally, n tis wat made me felt touching~ i miss my old frenz, who we used to be lik tat, care of each other sincerely~ i din mean to blame or wat, coz is not anyone fault, we juz changed, when the time is keep going on, n we juz cant help it~ thus, distance juz become far n far~

okay~
hahahahah~....shouldnt think so negative way~

well, i do appreciate all the guys' gentlemen and gals' friendliness~ thx to belanja me~ haha~

Thx thx thx~

Tonite, is going to be a great memories in my life~

~Juz the questions~

Really fortunately, rain started when i juz stepped into my shelter~

Still thundering and flashing, wondering whether i should off my comp n routers?

Can i juz be someone who doesnt care with everything? can i b selfish? irresponsibility?

Sometimes is juz hard to understand~ and i getting tired of reading others' mind~

Thx for ur honest to telling me all these, but somehow i feel uncomfortable with ur honesty in so direct way~

Or i should think it another way, everyone of us wants to live with someone who we can obtain the advantages? Mayb tat is human nature, then y would i so mind with this statement? bcoz im one of them? or i realized tat i cant benefit anyone else around me? tat's a shame!!! tat's a humiliation~ so dun judge or state it out even though is true for u~

all the human being is doomed to live together, tat's y communication is so essential in our daily lives~ is true to be frankly, but we do have to consider, what we should and should not to be honest~

well~ juz a small matter~

~Is all bout changing?~

Well, juz came bac hanging around with frenz~

it is a nite i used so much of my brain~ While i was having fun talking bout all the theories of life, experiences, diff point of views n all these stuff, i really thinking deeply~

is it really all bout changing? yeah, is not easy to get a person adapt in changing~ but i like changing , as in try the new experiences n new person to talk to, etc.etc~

but when come to the changing of myself, im thinking deeply and hardly~

wat i really want? i dun know~
wat i thinking bout my real self? i dun know~
wat i gonna do next to change? i dun know~
all these 'dunno' answer keep repeating and i hate it~ even fed up of this stupid answer~
but i really wan to find out the real answers~

it's another long nite for me i guess~
coz i feel restless, even sadness~

anyway, after talking with my frenz, i realized stg~ at least, i had been inspired through the whole conversations~

mayb, now, is another turning point of my life~ i dun know~ but at least i should try to make everything better but not remain standing right there n do nothing~

i can go thru it i guess~ as long as being myself and seeking higher self-esteem to reach my goals~

dun think complicated~ it's really tiring~

~Today~

Juz came bac from college and now is so so so tired esp my legs~ I really wondering how's the gal running with the high heels? i juz standing n walking....damn so tired weh~

well, it was a big event organized by all psychology students n i am one of them~ to be honest, i dun really feel i belonged to the team until today~ perhaps because i only took part in the half way, i seldom voice out during the meetings bcoz i dunno wat was really happening~ n mayb bcoz of tat, i did not felt the commitment with tis whole event~ anyway, i was in the publicity team and helped out to spread to everyone bout tis event~ it gave me the chances talking to the strangers and from there i'd discovered any kinds of ppl in this world~ it's ok if u dun bother what is going on outside there but somehow i found tat, they dun even know wat is manner all about~

nvm, at least, i tried~ but frankly, as Fishy said, we were demotivated from varieties of negative responses we had~ i had voiced out during our last meeting after the career fair ended greatly~ finally, finally i had voiced out from bottom of my heart wat i felt all the time while~ there were few times been asking for help but the time juz not right n i was rejected it, but everytime i did tat, i felt so guilty~ Even sometimes when others were praising for the great job which had been done by the committees, i was wondering, n asking myself, did i really helped out? did i really do all the jobs? did i really contributed?

Thx Mr.Kumar, his words made me feel good, yeah, at least, i really tried my very best, though not as much as efforts other ppl made~ i cant comparing this, i know~ But i know, i could do better~

Life is all bout learning, meeting up new frenz, having fun.....today, is a good day for me~ Although i feeling bad now which caused by the caffeine inside the coffee.

I stil want to say, thx everyone, congratulations for all the great jobs, esp Nicholas, he is really a good leader tat i respect~ n oso Leong, John......etc.etc.etc~

there were many lessons i learned from it~

however, 2day, the last day of this event, i felt i was in it~ i had a great time with all my frenz~

Life, is sometimes complicated, but there is still stg to look for~

cheers~

~Hardly understand...~

Do u know, there are so many people in this country, some are good, some are bad~

When u meet the good one, he/she is most probably will brighten up your day~

However, if u meet the bad one, he/she would just ruined your day, or even worst~

Unfortunately, i met one stupid idiot today~ who knows, because of this pretty gal, i gonna fail my subject and spend another thousand to retake a subject. Mayb not tat worst, but who knows, rite?

Yeah,every semester, my psychology department will carry on a lot of experiments for psychology students to sign up. it is compulsory for every core subjects and can gain extra bonus marks through tat as well~

Then, 2day, my friends and i had signed up for one experiment. it was 3pm session~ Right after our class at 2.30pm, i only had juz enough time for me to grab a tuna bun as my lunch n headed to take Help Bus going to another Block to attend the experiment. Mana tau, the uncle driver dunno went to where, we waited inside the bus for about 10 minutes. when we reached there, 2.55pm~ Phew, at least we still have few more minutes~

I jz felt not right when we were fastened our steps hoping we wont be late for tat~ It was like a bad feeling telling me it's gonna not alright~

When we arrived, the lab's door havent close yet and we thanks god that we were not been late~ The guy who is one of the experimenter told us politely that they ady found other students to replace our place and maybe we juz cancel our name so that our marks wont get deducted. Then, there was a gal suddenly appeared in front our sight n gave us a stupid look and said "NO, You all were late. So of coz hav to minus marks!!!"

What the hell is this? We tried hard to come on time and juz one minute! ONE minute!!!! we cant take part then is ok, y must said till like ours fault? we already damn pissed off~ we were not absent without a reason so u can juz minus the marks as u like~ We decided to argue back, so we were waiting outside until they finished the experiment. We knocked the door politely and told them the reasons why. But tat stupid idiot, said "we had given u 5 minutes then y u al stil late?" we said NO! tat time only 3.01pm k? we had class before tat and we really tried to come on time but no one of us can juz drive the bus!!!! then she said "No! we are following the real watch! you all were late and sorry, hav to minus marks!" what will she gain for her determination? she juz wont help us~

okay~ let say is our fault. It could be easy to help us juz cancel our name rite?

fine~ fine~ it's alright~ juz minus 0.25 marks anyway~

Until i got bac home n checked thru net, i discovered that we had been minus 2 marks!!!
HELLO! 2　ＭＡＲＫＳ！！！！

it gonna take another 4 hours take part the experiments only we can gain bac the 2 marks!!!!

you can choose to be devil or angel~ you can juz offer ur help and the appreciation you get will makes ur day good bcoz u did a good thing. but you can juz ignore to help and wat you deserve is all critiques and even bad words. It is all depends on you~

If we hav no reasons, i wont be so pissed off~

aiks~

anyway, wish me luck~ for my presentation 2ml~